Conversation With Lilith – resumed

While revisiting some Lilith themes I thought of a blog title “Conversations With Lilith”. It would be interesting to dial-up Lilith and have an interview of sorts. Well I dropped the title idea when I found a blog with the same name. The blog Conversations with Lilith blog is worth checking out.

Inner conversations between Self and Black Moon Lilith are perhaps difficult things to do.  Black Moon Lilith in personality separates herself from potential psychic energy and resides somewhere in the sub conscious realms. Communicating with her is across parallel worlds and with limited connectivity.

When Astrological Lilith is prominent in the chart such as conjunct an angle or planet there is emphasis of a particular process in personality. Lilith is a kind of “sub personality” and is very difficult to recognise compared to other personality traits. Other people may see the Lilith part of personality being expressed however to the untrained eye Lilith remains difficult to recognise.  In some respects Lilith is similar to the descriptions of a strong Pluto placement in the chart. Pluto can describe unconscious projections and personality traits which evoke areas for personal growth. Pluto has a hand in behaviours such as transference, blaming, controlling and denial. These are mostly observable behaviours which are tangible compared to Black Moon Lilith.

It is however possible for a self-reflective or an evolved personality to identify Lilith phenomenologically. (as she happens)


Shadow movement

Lilith represents incongruous elements within personality which can either be creative or destructive. For the Lilith prominent person there are times where expressing emotions  spontaneously results in awkward social repercussions. The “Lilithy” person over time may attempt to repress parts of personality as to avoid misunderstandings and conflict in relationships. Lilith however emerges all on her own and contrary to ones impulse controls. “She” becomes visible in personality when there are challenges and emotions that the psyche doesnt know how to deal with. It is possible that she leaves a trail destruction in relationships and other settings.

The passive aggressive personality may offer some support to the Lilith personality theory. If you have ever been involved with a passive aggressive person then you will know that they can be ever so sweet and reasonable in their communication however they are also aggressive in their relationships. The passive aggressive personality is also difficult to recognise until you are familiar with that kind of behaviour.

One can walk away from the passive aggressive person feeling a twinge between their shoulder blades without knowing how a knife became lodged in their back. In some cases the passive aggressive person attempts to wear a person down so that other person feels angry and confused. The passive aggressive person seems sweet however behaves aggressively in surreptitious ways. They want to express their ability to have importance and power however underneath there are vulnerabilities.


A Well Known Passive Aggressive Duck

Some Lilith positions in the chart do not allow for much self reflection or perhaps there are other planetary aspects describing denials in personality which limit the awareness of  lilith manifestations.

Here are some fictitious examples of Black Moon Lilith can “look” like.

A young man out for dinner in the city one night returns later to find his car stolen. In the shock of the moment he calls his Mother to explain his loss. The Mother could reply with a nurturing comment however she says “why does this always happen to you”? Lilith emerges in the place of a more reasonable or nurturing response by the mother. The young man is confused and feels rejected.

A man with a rasping and angry tone to his voice looks lovingly at his girlfriend and says “do you think I can really change who I am”? His face grows an enormous smile as Lilith resonates with his stubborn statement and “cursed” sense of  reality. Lilith loves to be stuck in the psyche somewhere and the “gallows smile” is Lilith protruding into personality.

A man goes to coffee with a female friend who is married; they both know where they stand within the bounds of their platonic relationship. The woman however goes out of her way to dress provocatively which is far from her usual style. The woman bends over in front of the man showing portions of her curvy behind. The rest of the conversation tends to be about her. The man wants to tells her she is beautiful but she will not respond anyway. The game of Rapo is indeed Lilith emerging into personality as the temptress. Sexualizing interactions and gaining the upper hand is another way Lilith establishes herself in relationships.



A man has left his partner of a few years and wishes to return to the house to pick up his furniture. The ex partner has already got a new boyfriend and she has restricted the man from gaining access to his furniture. The man finally gets to shift his furniture but not before the ex partner approaches him alone with intensity. Does she wants to have sex with the man? Lilith finds difficulty in letting go of some relationships. Later the man realises that she hid an expensive item which was left. Perhaps this is a  wild-fire kind of Lilith where hanging on to a “piece of the man” is typical of the borderline personality.



A Man was talking to his elderly Mother about getting old. The Mother is secretly angry at the lack of attention by her son. The mother says to the son out of the blue “there wont be much money left, I am spending your inheritance here and there.” The son identifies Lilith and hugs his mother saying “I hope you spend it nicely mum”. The mother almost backs away, the man leaves and she is left with herself once again. Not taking on someones elses Lilith is a very good option.

A person comes to an important meeting and sits in front of another person with crotch directed at the other person. The tight jeans seemingly pushed forward in the chair trying to take the focus off that person and on the crotch area. The person realises the crotch pushing person needs some control in the meeting. If I was to talk to Lilith herself – it would mean talking to the crotch.


Body Language Speaks

A person writes an interesting blog describing certain human social traits however the writer knows a specific person who reads the blog will secretly identify the blog is about them. The facts contained in the blog are perhaps well known about the other person and the writer makes attempts to challenge or help the person reading it. Meanwhile no one else has a clue to what is going on and the person reading has little or no way of responding directly.

Man is having trouble with power ratio in his relationship. The woman says “put $100, 000 on the table now, we can continue with the relationship”. Man says “if I do that today, I am sure you will come up with another problem that I need to fix”. Perhaps the woman will say that the man must lose the hair on his chest to continue the relationship? Man gets too cheeky with the woman’s Lilith and the downward spiralling of the relationship continues.

Here is Lilith in Video form. Germaine Greer has Lilith and Vesta in the 1st House. #Unfortunately this very good video example of Lilith has been made private. For those of you who saw it the first time I am sure you will agree.


Black Moon Lilith has many ways of revealing ‘herself’ and perhaps the sexualized ones are more obvious. The sexual impulse by itself is an interesting parallel in that sexual feelings have a way of emerging all on their own and tend compel the person to act incongruously.

Passive Aggressive behaviours are also typical of Black Moon Lilith because there is a way to wreak a havoc towards another person while gaining a sense of power and control in the process. The aim of staying socially acceptable and maintaining the status quo while Lilith expresses herself is a difficult one. Lilith in personality begs to be understood however often she is shunned and consequently turns inwards. The person is left to mop up and in some cases feels angry with their actions because there is work to mend valuable relationships. These are the conundrums of trying to identify Lilith in personality.



9 Responses to “Conversation With Lilith – resumed”

  1. 1 Marina February 20, 2010 at 02:09

    Ooooh! The Blog writer one. Very good, yes, I think I have done that a few times. Totally subconciously of course! (Lilith conjunct Mars in the 10th…)

  2. 2 kingsley February 20, 2010 at 07:00

    Of course,I cannot think that I have ever written such blogs Marina!


  3. 3 goastrology July 16, 2010 at 22:37

    Wow. Awesome. However I wonder if you can use your Lilith to meet up with another person’s Lilith, like “the mirror hand”? My mother often uses a passive-agressive Lilith, but Ive got a strong Lilith myself and I often feel Im using it to effectively disarm her Lilith behaviour intuitively. Like recognizing her Lilith, say what’s up, and then she gets understood subconsciously, and we can move on without any drama or hurt feelings. Leave the Liliths to their own. I think people do it wrong if they try to answer someone’s Lilith with their Mercury or something.

    • 4 kingsley January 5, 2011 at 13:39

      Hello Goastrology, in many cases that is exactly what happens like in any social interaction some “transactions” are verbal but mostly they are non verbal and Lilith is a master (mistress) at social games.

      Yes, Lilith is in the Child part of personality if you understand the Transactional Analysis model of personality – and any response/inquiry from Mercury (reason) might reinforce Liliths sense of rejection.


  4. 5 blueberry April 18, 2011 at 01:38

    I’ve lilith in the 7th house so i tend to look for those atributes in my partner, i’ve dated a lot of mars/venus conjunction, mostly in 1th house, i guessed thats the pasive/agresive cuality, but what’s my role in this, i’m a lilith person and i proyect on other??

  5. 6 kingsley April 18, 2011 at 09:06

    It is kind of like that with Lilith in the seventh Blueberry. You may attract those Lilith types as a way of representing that apect of personality in yourself. There is also a thing called projective identification where your partners will succumb to expressing Lilith as a way of maintaining relationships with you. If you like this quality in others, then that represents an aspect of personality in you. Its just a vicarious way of expressing your own Lilith. k

  6. 7 Jake June 23, 2013 at 23:17

    Wow, accurate
    I have Lilith conjunct Jupiter in the first house / taurus and parallel Jupitet, Sun and Saturn. Most of the examples are recognizable to me. Its like half of my self is indirect, uncontrollable, and subversively destructive. My Sun and Saturn are also opposed. Yay. Still I find Jupiter, the planet in conjunction, to be both overly dominant at the same time as invisible to my very intense psychic investigations. If you could give some specific insight inLilithian Jupiter that would be awesome.

  7. 8 kingsley July 9, 2013 at 13:31

    Hello Jake, perhaps Jupiter is one of the better planets to connected to Lilith. Jupiter is the magnanimous and generous planets which can represent the “bigger picture” in life. For this reason Jupiter can be the counsellor or the priest or someone who has a specific beliefs in life.

    Jupiter in Taurus likes to accumulate and aspire to values, wealth and is “big” on routines.

    There are a number of potentials for Jupiter and Lilith person. For one there can be an overly optimistic approach and happy go lucky disposition even in the face of dire circumstances. Perhaps too happy go lucky?

    The adhering to ones beliefs like they are valuable possessions and the potential to preach ones beliefs as the truth.

    Jupiter in the unconscious world and described in negative personality traits could also describe the “exaggerator”. Jupiter and Lilith are pretty harmless and depending on other factors in the chart. Jupiter would help if you say that Sun and Saturn are opposite each other. There are potentials for fluctuating moods and Jupiter – Lilith will help you laugh it off and become philosophical about a sense of authority that permeates your world.


  1. 1 Planet Terror and Passive Aggression: Fully Loaded… « Fauvism Astrology Trackback on April 29, 2010 at 01:59

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