Counter Transference and Lilith Reworked

Going back over old blog posts I am sometimes surprised by my inadequate writing skills. I could say now that my writing skills have improved over the last two years. I am not a born writer however the passion for expressing myself through Astrology is a motivation I cannot ignore. I am somewhat rebellious to the dyslexia that makes writing difficult. I have re written this blog because I could hardly understand it myself. Not that Lilith is an easy subject to understand.

Transference is described in psychology as the unconscious redirection of emotional issues from one person to another. Both positive and negative transference stems in part from our early relationships to parents. Transference is usually escalates during breakdowns in adult relationships and often relates to unmet childhood needs. We tend to “paste” these same unresolved issues with our parents onto the face of other people.

With the goal of making transitions and redecisons about unresolved issues interfering with the quality of life, Psychotherapy can help untangle and bring awareness to these transferences.




School Teachers tend to be less trained in handling transference issues and unwittingly step into the line of fire by becoming entangled with students authoritative transference. As a result teachers are prone to reacting by way of Counter-Transference. Emotionally reacting to younger students is stepping into the transference and often a teacher will sound like a parent. Children push and push until they get the reaction they want from parents or teachers.



Transference exists in the midst of relationships

Counter Transference in therapy is the Therapists own feelings and reactions during the course of the session. The process of Counter Transference is used by psychotherapists to understand elements of unconscious communication in their relationships with clients. The therapist is trained to listen to their internal “child”‘ feelings and process them in a way to facilitate treatment interventions. The experienced counsellor can respond seamlessly for good therapeutic intervention.

Usually when a therapist works with transferential therapies, supervision and personal therapy become a normal part of their working lives. Therapists are only human and their reasons for being a therapist in the first place usually involves their own dilemma of changing personal life patterns. The ways in which the therapist tackles these personal issues can influences their work with clients. This can leave the unsuspecting client vulnerable to the merits and detriments of the therapists own unconscious influences.

If counter-transference or unconscious responses emerge from the therapists own “child issues” then it makes sense for the therapist to explore Lilith (Black Moon Lilith) in their own astrology chart.

Lilith has been described by various authors and can initially be confusing because there are three different Astrological Lilith’s. In this case I refer to the Black Moon Lilith. The Black Moon Lilith is the “empty focus” moon and describes hidden and incongruous parts of personality. Seeing as though I have Black Moon Lilith and Chiron either side (conjunct) of my natal Moon perhaps I may have some helpful insights into Counter-transference and Black Moon Lilith.

Firstly let me say that counter-transference is not a “dirty word” or a negative issue for the counsellor or astrologer. Many new counsellors tend to view counter-transference as erroneous however as long as one has awareness of counter-transference feelings much can be gained personally. The trick seems to be promoting ones inner reflective process. That is to be open to ones blind spots in personality.

Finding ways to identify and to express Lilith can help with complex personal transitions. In some psychoanalytical fields such as in Relational Therapy the word Reflexivity is used to describe the ability for self reflection.



One way in which counter-transference is used productively by counsellors is through self disclosure. To genuinely express their feelings and thoughts related to the client’s clinical work. Working in clinical settings requires understanding counter-transference and boundaries with relational interventions. The client gains from the therapeutic relationship by accessing unconscious thoughts or behaviours that were previously denied.

Both therapist and client can make some means of transformation within their relational transference. So how does one identify their counter-transference through Astrology?

The planets in houses that involve relationships such as the 1st and 7th houses are important places where transference can be identified. One may apply the principle of transference to the placement of the rulers of these houses in the natal chart. The Moons nodal degrees are also points which locates transference in the natal chart. The ruler of the south node in the chart will describe ones early childhood patterning. Basically all of the planets are open to transference however the Moon, Sun and Saturn points are primary indicators.



Adversarial Transference

If you have the Ascendant ruler in the 7th house for example, the person will tend to express themselves outwardly using others as a sound board. Reflexivity is the process of understanding “ping backs” from others when identifying ones own thinking, feeling or behaviour. When the 7th house ruler is in the 1st house others are drawn towards you with either positive or negative transference. Saturn emphasised in the chart this way tends to show authoritative transference. The ruling planet of any house in the chart found in the 1st house will show transference from that house.

Mars the ruler of my 7th house in the my 1st house so I tend to attract competitive transference and sometimes conflict. Often I hardly need to open my mouth and others want to challenge me. I am well experienced in these types of relationships and as a result became trained in Mediation and Anger Therapy.

Mars in the first house also describes my assertive personality and emotional reactions attached to counter-transference feelings.  If  I take notice of my inner emotional response to a client then I can then understand more about the client. Without reacting I can then “track” the client in therapy so they can deal with their own anger issues.

In my experience the most vulnerable aspect or function in the astrology chart will show the source of counter-transference feelings. In my case it would be the Moon and Chiron.



Black Moon Lilith Symbol

If you find Black Moon Lilith in the natal chart the usual sign and house descriptions may apply although it’s really just a guide. Aspects to Lilith such as conjunctions opposites or squares will describe Lilith in more detail. One can attempt to identify and connect to their behaviours and expressions by following the descriptions of Lilith in the chart.

One can also identify transits and progressions to natal Lilith and the other planets involved to calculate important Lilith events.

It is a good idea to first prove the ability for reflexivity in the natal chart. The usual third house analysis and Moon – Mercury – Ascendant connections will hint towards an ability for self reflection. The Modalities in the natal chart such Fixed, Mutable or Cardinal energies will also help to show the persons temperaments and reflexivity potentials.

The aim of “becoming aware” in counselling is to emerge from a kind of  “self awareness crises” in a good space with valuable transformative material.

My Lilith is in Aquarius which is fixed but intellectually orientated. I think about my feelings and can detach from feelings too (moon in Aquarius). With the help of a mutual reception between Mercury and Mars my reflexive process is quite good however it takes some time for me to discover things that I am unaware of. I have an abundance of Fire element and my chart modalities balanced.

People with Lilith conjunct angles or luminaries will have intensity of Lilith functions. These people may find it helpful to reflect on their interactions carefully and find creative ways to express Lilith in personality. Strong Lilith placements in the chart relate to people with charismatic and creative personalities.

Learning to integrate Lilith is not an easy process and requires practicing reflexivity techniques within ones relationships. Practicing ones “genuiness” can be done carefully as to not expose too vulnerable feelings afterwards. It is through this “giving and receiving” process in relationships where valuable transitions can be made using dynamic transference.

The integration and transcendence from ones early unmet needs occurs by first becoming aware of unconscious thoughts and feelings. Lilith represents complex transference issues in personality which can be expressed unconsciously in adult relationships.

Lilith seems to do her “worst work” when she is denied and repressed in personality. Identifying and then giving Lilith some freedom to express “herself ” feels a bit risky at first however with small steps that kind of permission can be very rewarding.

First posted 2008;  Re edited Feb 2010


2 Responses to “Counter Transference and Lilith Reworked”

  1. 1 Jamie Funk February 23, 2010 at 15:54

    i’m glad you brought this article up again Kingsley. it would be interesting to compaere the charts for when when you first wrote it and now. i guess you were working on this a couple of nights ago when mercury was conjunct lilith. at that exact time i was skyping with Marina and we were discussing a something similar to tranference in relation to BM Lilith.

    it involves how Marina and i both work together with a client, or with person through networking. we see this as a trinagle. the initial relationship starts with one of us, and then the third person (Marina or me) is introduced and the energy spirals resulting in some epiphany or breakthrough for one or all of us. i definitely see that as Lilith energy at work and it fits the mythology of the third wheel (Lilith, Eve, Adam).

    at the lower manifestation this would be a purely sexual threesome which often ends in disaster for a relationship, at the higher manifestation is the spiritual energy which we seem to be tapping into by working together with one other person. this might be helped by my mercury-venus trining Marina’s mars-lilith.

  2. 2 kingsley February 23, 2010 at 17:24

    It certainly seems like a useful triangular dynamic Jamie if there is an epiphany between all of you. What goes on in the inter-relational subconscious areas has some rewarding benefits for all. In this case within the triad you all had a transformation of sorts. I have experienced this effect in group therapy situations with five or more where Relational Therapy was being practiced.

    I have found this kind work of safely done group process one of the best ways to express Lilith and then gain from the reflective process in real time. Very rewarding and uplifting indeed.

    Even accross Skype it seems the Relational Unconscious works well.


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