Casual Conversation Revisited

A casual conversation with the council repair man through my office window yesterday reminded me of the current Capricorn season. The repair man was removing a steel mesh security grid over my window. Apparently thieves tried to break in the previous day by cutting a hole in the mesh.

I had just finished a client who is having constant problems with the authorities. The client is only thirteen years old and he has amassed a long list of authorities he now fights against.

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authorities

Different Authority Objects

Such as;  Mothers –  Fathers – Teachers – Policemen – Juvenile Justice Teams – Prison Guards – Judges – Transport Guards – Judges – Mental Health services and the list goes on.

Through the hole in my security window the council repair man discussed his views on parenting and how children’s problems start at home. He described how he “would thrash the living daylights out of his son” if his kid was ever caught stealing. He described how kids of today are too lazy and that holiday boredom results in vandalism to council property.

The council repair man spoke in a confident and authoritative manner. He had some very good ideas about parenting and the youth of today. Our casual conversation continued for some time when he discussed  his own thirteen year old boy’s reluctance to fix his bicycle.

The council man said that he would help his son fix the bike – but “only if the son asks for help”. The father is being firm by not rescuing his boy.

If his boy is a sensitive type and the relationship between father and son is a distant one, there is a good chance he will feel rejected by such a tough stance by his father. The Father knows that the boy will sorely miss out on the fun cycling excursion.

The father is psychologically directing the boy to be assertive and to not be lazy. The battle grounds between parents and children can develop into extraordinarily untenable relationships. Sometimes children present situations to parents which are the most difficult issues to deal with.

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Fitting in with the rules

I don’t enjoy situations that end with communication failure and separateness however sometimes that is just life. Most children learn from their negative experiences and make adjustments however there are some children who do not wish to fit in.

Some children will sway towards correcting their behaviours because of pressures within their healthy relationships. If relationships have become stuck and difficult then it is a good idea to work with boundaries and make agreements to live by. Both parent and children can work towards making small changes in their relationships. Of course attempting this process requires practicing by both parties.

In many ways just recognising dysfunctional relationships is a very good start.

In my mind I was hoping the council repair man would once again offer to his son; that  he would help fix the bike because he wanted his son to go on the family excursion.

fatherf1

Father Figure

The Capricorn Sun represents the traditional father. He is practical patient and a good listener. He is also firm with boundaries and rules in a traditional sense of father-hood.  He is overbearing and bossy at times by expressing his need for control.

The Capricorn father has unbending views on most matters in life and may deny understanding his own foibles. There are however, soft and sensitive parts to his personality and where he can reflect on his role within the relationship.

The Capricorn father arrives at new levels of understandings when his way is not working any more. With the help of practical direction these Dads can acquire new skills. There is a good chance that this father will recognise if his way is working or not.

~

elvis

Elvis Presley did things in his own way

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A song from a Capricorn

A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation ain’t satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby

Kingsley

8th Jan 2008

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