The Snake on The Road

About eleven years ago I was living in an idyllic surfing shack by the beach. My very good surfing buddy Bill leased the shack to me while he lived a few houses away. It was a convenient set up as Bill could wander down and do “projects” in his garden and we went surfing together at every opportunity. By 1999 I was to find that our idyllic friendship and arrangement had sinister consequences for our lives.

SnakeAcrossRoad

There is a twist in this tale

Living in Bill’s old shack was a very good time in my life. We would often go on surfing expeditions with Jess. Bill would use the company fuel account and Jess would book our accommodation in one of Australia’s finest surfing regions.  During the week at home, Bill and I went surfing before work  – we had a short walk across the road to the beach.

Around the time in 1999 my life was changing. I suffered a painful repetitive strain injury to my elbow for which I was receiving insurance money. I couldn’t go surfing much and as a consequence Bill became frustrated with our friendship. He didn’t believe that I was in pain, he thought I was a freeloader. Bill was a value driven Taurus person and often spoke like Homer Simpson. Bill was from Massachusetts and he was going up in the world – fast. I was finishing up my career in Stone-masonry and was quite involved with Astrology and counselling.

It seemed that Bill and Jess were planing on getting married that year and with me out of action Bill became increasingly insecure about his world. I think Bill resented  the way I lived in his shack. Perhaps I was living out his idyllic vision of life then. I was single with no responsibilities – surfed and did what I wanted to do. He was paying the mortgage on the shack, getting married and fast tracking his career. Bill thrived on stress and control.

stress

Little did I know what was to come next

Bill was planing his future home with Jess. They were going to use the land around the shack to build a new place. That meant at some point in time the shack was to be demolished. I was ok about that but not with the way Bill decided to treat me as one of his pawns. In the end it seemed that I was expendable and my “value” dropped in view of his master plan.

Bill served me with an eviction notice. It was a very surprising turn of events. I would have gladly moved out and stayed friends with him however it seemed that Bill needed to be sure of my departure. In Bill’s natal chart – Mars Uranus and Pluto are conjunct with Saturn opposite.

Bills Eviction notice

The eviction notice chart.

The secretive and surreptitious twelfthth house Moon is exposed at the Mid-heaven. Mars ruled 4th house about to change signs and opposite Saturn.

I moved out on the very last day of the eviction notice and our friendship was irreversibly damaged. I found out afterwards that Bill was trying to buy the house next door to the shack and was also holding off signing the builders contract to build on the shack’s land. His Mother was about to arrive from America and the wedding was looming.

Bill and Jess's Wedding

It seemed that Bill had finally chewed off more than he could control. Bill’s mother apparently was the master of both control and self righteousness. Bill had come half way around the world to escape his mother. Her impending arrival must have produced cracks in his tight armour.

I heard later – on the grape vine that the wedding or celebration of the wedding was to be down south in a favourite surfing haunt. It seemed obvious to me that Bill had decided long before his marriage day that I wasn’t going to be there. So what did happen?

Bill was driving down south showing his mother his block of land when a big snake crossed the road. Bill braked and swerved to avoid the snake. The snake survived I think, however the car behind Bill smashed right into the back of him.

Two weeks after their marriage Jess left Bill citing controlling and infantile behaviour. Somehow I think the marriage was a manipulated event. Its hard not to be suspicious. Perhaps in the early days Bill and Jess were in love however it seems that Jess was planning an exit and “eviction” all of her own.

Bill got his inheritance from his fathers estate and is now a multi million dollar property owner in the south west of Australia. Jess got remarried to an adult person and I believe she benefited from her divorce with Bill.

I am living in another “shack” and and getting by. I have to say that my new breed of friendship has been more than I could ever hope for over the years. Friendship is a dual street and requires work sometimes. I hope to keep my friendships when I  decide to move house next. If I must leave home that is ok too. I prefer that dealings between friends can be as transparent as they can  –  perhaps I am not perfect but I understand the importance of friendships and how they can also change.

Kingsley

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13 Responses to “The Snake on The Road”


  1. 1 D. July 17, 2009 at 06:58

    Do you have n 11th house Pluto? Or maybe 11th house Venus square Pluto? (I’m just guessing here :p)

    My Pluto is in the 11th. I have more or less a similar story (in the sense that my ex-friend started treating me with less respect so I choose not to contact her again – and she did the same). Actually I can think on other ex-friend that did the same!, lol.

    So – where’s your Pluto? (Or does the ruler of the 11th has “bad” aspects?)

  2. 2 KazzaB July 17, 2009 at 08:28

    Seems like there was a lot going on under the surface Kenoath. Friendship is very important to me and being a very honest person I like things to be upfront. Loyalty and honesty are important values for me. I am very lucky in that I have friendships that have spanned over twenty years. Some of them have changed and it’s interesting thinking about the changes but I don’t think the friendships will finish because of the changes. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and I’m not as quiet and non talkative as I once was and in one friendship I have, I can’t get a word in edgewise. But I just go with the flow – there is too much water under the bridge for me to end the friendship because she talks more than me. Depending on my mood I’m either irritated by it or amused. But I’ve also realised friendship is a two way street and she is used to me not talking as much as she does. I think I’m rambling here but I found your post interesting and I’ve thought about friendship a lot since I started my own counselling. As I said friendship is very important to me.

  3. 3 kingsley July 17, 2009 at 10:44

    Hello D. I have quite a good eleventh house. Aries with the sun in their. My Venus is inconjunct with Pluto so perhaps that has something to say?

    k

  4. 4 kingsley July 17, 2009 at 10:56

    Hi Kazza, you have done some good work over the years. I like the way you understand your friendships. I am not sure I like things that are “under the surface” Kazza.I like to know where I stand. I did experience a great deal of betrayal early in my life so perhaps my experiences with Bill have replicated those experiences. Perhaps I expect too much from friends?

    kingsley

  5. 5 Graffiti July 17, 2009 at 16:14

    That is a good story Kingsley,
    thanks for sharing it and I think you make some good points about friendship.

    Graffiti

  6. 6 KazzaB July 17, 2009 at 17:20

    I often wandered whether I expected to much from friendships as well Kenoath but I don’t really think I do. I value my friendships very much and I want other people perhaps to value theirs with me as well. I didn’t fit in well at school and was always the odd one out – either teased or just didn’t fit into the “group”. The result of changing schools and being a very shy and self conscious child. So now I value the friends I do have and I have friendships that have lasted a long time. Even though I’ve changed and moved in different directions, I still keep those friends because they mean a lot to me.

  7. 7 kingsley July 18, 2009 at 10:06

    Thanks Grafitti, I could write a whole book about The adventures of Bill and Ken

    k

  8. 8 kingsley July 18, 2009 at 10:17

    Hi Kazza, Tony has written a blog recently about gazing at ones navel. I tend to do a lot of that as he says. It is a very helpful process in my book. If I added up all the meaningful friends in my life and they were all friends today – I wouldnt have the energy to keep them all going.I have good old friends that have become like the memory of an interesting book.

    In some ways I am glad I have been able to meet and have the many friendships I have had over the years. If I had kept each one along the way I would have run out of space for making new friends. I havent really discarded friends in my life however I do not have any long term ones in my life like yourself.

    Maybe I didnt fit in or they were not my cup of tea however we certainly got together for a time and that was good.

    kingsley

  9. 9 KazzaB July 18, 2009 at 12:08

    When I said long term friends I don’t have heaps or at least not ones over 20 years. I have probably 3 friends that are over the 20 year mark. I have no school friends that I’ve kept – I hear of people being friends since school days. Probably over the last 7 years I’ve made a lot more friends. It’s funny how friends fit into different catagories tho – like the ones from Uni who I mainly see during semester but not much otherwise and the other friends I keep in contact with a lot more. One of my friends I’ve had since I did my nurses training and I know I’ll never lose contact with her.

    I sometimes think I need to put more effort into my friendships because I know I can get a bit stuck in my own world and not go out much. But I touch base occassionally with some and more with others so something must be working.

  10. 10 kingsley July 19, 2009 at 11:29

    I understand Kazza, according to psychology one can only have a few very good old friends otherwise there is not enough space to be a good friend. Perhaps this is where I have struggled to keep close and intimate friends. I was having so much fun going from one group of friends to another I missed out. I guess some friends and including myself are changeble and I understand that as a good friend would. A good old friend is very grounding indeed.

    best
    Ken

  11. 11 roses July 20, 2009 at 09:51

    I’m not much of a friend I’m afraid – not at all. I find it easy to forget people, unless of course, those people are good at keeping contact. Boy! Some people are so good at keeping in contact!

    When I’m feeling lonely, I pick up a book and go somewhere there are lots of people, get myself a good coffee, find a seat and begin to read with all the busy-ness of life happening around me. Sometime I get a lot of reading done but usually – don’t get much reading done at all and after a few hours of meeting and chatting with both familiar and faces, I’m all filled up. That way, when I want to be alone I don’t have heaps of people calling in day in day out. Its taken me years to work that one out. Years!

    Oh my goodness! I’m getting so good at saying ‘NO’. You can’t understand because you don’t know me but I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. Our lives were not our own for so many years – we belonged to hundreds of people 24/7. So nice now.

    Same with the phone – I/we have the phone connected for my/our convenience, not everyone else’s (this one gets me into trouble all the time but I’m way too fair-dinkum about it to bother taking notice of the flack). If my husband or other family members are home and the phone rings, then they can run around like chooks with their heads chopped off to answer the person who has them at their every beck and call, but I pay the phone bills for my convenience not for the people at the other end of the phone. If you need to say g’day then leave a message! The message thing has been put there for your convenience, if you don’t use it… well, tough!

    I must admit that I do have a mobile phone for the convenience of a certain few people. I actually pay for that because they are important to me. I make sure that at least one person in, whatever group, can contact me. But I only answer the messages I want to. It’s a convenience for a certain few, not everyone.

    Sorry K for the raving. I became so angry (I think it was anger) when you said the word ‘friend’. The concept is such a mine field! I think it’s the expectations that happen when a certain amount of trust is assumed on one or both sides of the relationship; the spoken/unspoken deals assumed and even the load of attachments to the spoken/unspoken deals that we carry around with an amount of arrogance. Such is life.

    Cheers… roses

  12. 12 kingsley July 20, 2009 at 10:28

    Well said Roses. I am glad you have the phone on for your convenience.

    k

  13. 13 roses July 20, 2009 at 10:41

    *Giggles* Holy smokes K. I did rave.

    I’m sorry that your dealings with a potential/assumed friend didn’t work out. I’m also glad that you can see it the way you do. Your post had nothing to do with my phone – thank you for kindly allowing me to attempt control of something that isn’t mine and rave on your blog.

    I will leave you alone now… roses


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