I had a crisis yesterday which left me quite anxious. My car overheated after a trip up the freeway to my work. The small radiator hose was hissing out steam leaving me far from home without the prospect of support. I had forgotten all about the transit of Chiron to my natal Moon perfecting on Friday.
Over the years I have become accustomed to experiencing some anxiety. My old wounds involving abandonment issues become recycled when I feel helpless in situations. The sensitive point in my Astrology chart is Moon – Chiron with the midpoint of Mars/ Neptune at my Moon degree. Chiron hit the moon and midpoint yesterday and the crisis returned temporarily.
The last time this Moon event occurred was in October while I was in Brisbane doing a talk at a conference. Like all outer planets transits the exact day of the conjunction will offer an eventful experience. Perhaps the radiator hose in my car has been slowly building pressure over the weeks. Feelings have a way of bursting in this manner too, especially if one doesn’t recognise the signs.
It seems that the words “helping industry” are indeed – far removed from the world of mechanics. After explaining my circumstances to seven different mechanics – none of them wanted to help. It was late on Friday afternoon and no one was interested in my crisis.
I am in the helping industry and I just drove 40 k’s to see clients because that is important to my life.
My emotions in general have been exaggerated and sensitive recently (which is an epic story) and when the car overheated I experienced a spin of anxiety. The worst case scenario yesterday meant leaving my car at work and running the risk of vandals.
When a good friend wasn’t answering his phone the rising anxiety made it hard for me to think let alone focus on the small print in the yellow pages.
So I called my brother and he quickly said “no problems give me ten minutes and I will be up there”. Geez that sounded good to me. Now my worry switched to whether he could get the part in time and whether the problem with the car was more serious. The air conditioner was going flat out on a very hot day which precipitated the burst hose.
I am not usually so anxious but when we were in the Auto shop I couldn’t believe how everyone else seemed so calm. The young girl went about finding the best radiator hose for my car. She was measuring the hoses with a micrometer for accuracy. This seemed extraordinary to me at the time. On the inside I was boiling over with worry. I was having a kind of post traumatic experience.
We went back to the car where my brother tinkered with the hoses and not long after it was all back together again.
After thanking my brother I drove off – hoping the car would make the 40 km drive home through peak hour. For some reason the anxiety wasnt going to end until I was safely home and out of the isolating heat.
I made it home without any problems and it seems a job well done by my good brother. I think it took me a couple of hours to de-stress before dinner. The Chiron crisis is the helplessness – far from home with fears emerging from insecure early attachments in life. I had been recycled.
When things turn bad, when there is nothing you can do and you feel alone its a good time to ask for help.
When no one wants to help and feelings of rejection are triggered by cold hearted people – its time to call family.
My early rejection and abandonment issues came to the fore yesterday with the final pass of Chiron over my Moon. I can say the experience was healing for me. Chiron – Moon in Astrology is a trigger and the reminder of the anxiety of being alone – far from home without support. My brother helped me unconditionally.