Conversations With Lilith

While revisiting some Lilith themes I thought of a blog title “Conversations With Lilith”. It would be interesting to dial-up Lilith and have an interview of sorts. Well I dropped the title idea when I found a blog with the same name. The blog Conversations with Lilith blog is worth checking out.

Inner conversations between Self and Black Moon Lilith are perhaps extremely difficult things to do.  Black Moon Lilith in personality separates herself from potential psychic energy and resides somewhere in the sub conscious realms. Communicating with her is across parallel worlds and with limited connectivity.

When Astrological Lilith is prominent in the chart such as conjunct an angle or planet there is emphasis of a particular process in personality. Lilith is a kind of “sub personality” and is very difficult to recognise compared to other personality traits. Other people may see the Lilith part of personality being expressed however to the untrained eye Lilith remains difficult to recognise.  In some respects Lilith is similar to the descriptions of a strong Pluto placement in the chart. Pluto can describe unconscious projections and personality traits which evoke areas for personal growth. Pluto has a hand in behaviours such as transference, blaming, controlling and denial. These are mostly observable behaviours which are tangible compared to Black Moon Lilith.

It is however possible for a self-reflective or an evolved personality to identify Lilith phenomenologically. (as she happens)


Shadow movement

Lilith represents incongruous elements within personality which can either be creative or destructive. For the Lilith prominent person there are times where expressing emotions  spontaneously results in awkward social repercussions. The “Lilithy” person over time may attempt to repress parts of personality as to avoid misunderstandings and conflict in relationships. Lilith however emerges all on her own and contrary to ones impulse controls. “She” becomes visible in personality when there are challenges and emotions the psyche doesnt know how to deal with and then “she” subsides. It is possible that she leaves a trail destruction in relationships and other settings.

The passive aggressive personality may offer some support to the Lilith personality theory. If you have ever been involved with a passive aggressive person then you will know that they can be ever so sweet and reasonable in their communication however they are also aggressive in their relationships. The passive aggressive personality is also difficult to recognise until you are familiar with that kind of behaviour.

One can walk away from the passive aggressive person feeling a twinge between their shoulder blades without knowing how a knife became lodged in their back. In some cases the passive aggressive person attempts to wear a person down so that other person feels angry and confused. The passive aggressive person seems sweet however behaves aggressively in surreptitious ways. They want to express their ability to have importance and power however underneath there are vulnerabilities.


A Well Known Passive Aggressive Duck

Some Lilith positions in the chart do not allow for much self reflection or perhaps there are other planetary aspects describing denials in personality which limit the awareness of  lilith manifestations.

Here are some fictitious examples of Black Moon Lilith can “look” like.

A young man out for dinner in the city one night returns later to find his car stolen. In the shock of the moment he calls his Mother to explain his loss. The Mother could reply with a nurturing comment however she says “why does this always happen to you”? Lilith emerges in the place of a more reasonable or nurturing response by the mother. The young man is confused and feels rejected.

A man with a rasping and angry tone to his voice looks lovingly at his girlfriend and says “do you think I can really change who I am”? His face grows an enormous smile as Lilith resonates with his stubborn statement and “cursed” sense of  reality. Lilith loves to be stuck in the psyche somewhere and the “gallows smile” is Lilith protruding into personality.

A man goes to coffee with a female friend who is married; they both know where they stand within the bounds of their platonic relationship. The woman however goes out of her way to dress provocatively which is far from her usual style. The woman bends over in front of the man showing portions of her curvy behind. The rest of the conversation tends to be about her. The man wants to tells her she is beautiful but she will not respond anyway. The game of Rapo is indeed Lilith emerging into personality as the temptress. Sexualizing interactions and gaining the upper hand is another way Lilith establishes herself in relationships.


A man has left his partner of a few years and wishes to return to the house to pick up his furniture. The ex partner has already got a new boyfriend and she has restricted the man from gaining access to his furniture. The man finally gets to shift his furniture but not before the ex partner approaches him alone with intensity. Does she wants to have sex with the man? Lilith finds difficulty in letting go of some relationships. Later the man realises that she hid an expensive item which was left. Perhaps this is a  wild-fire kind of Lilith where hanging on to a “piece of the man” is typical of the borderline personality.


A Man was talking to his elderly Mother about getting old. The Mother is secretly angry at the lack of attention by her son. The mother says to the son out of the blue “there wont be much money left, I am spending your inheritance here and there.” The son identifies Lilith and hugs his mother saying “I hope you spend it nicely mum”. The mother almost backs away, the man leaves and she is left with herself once again. Not taking on someones elses Lilith is a very good option.

A person comes to an important meeting and sits in front of another person with crotch directed at the other person. The tight jeans seemingly pushed forward in the chair trying to take the focus off that person and on the crotch area. The person realises the crotch pushing person needs some control in the meeting. If I was to talk to Lilith herself – it would mean talking to the crotch.


A person writes an interesting blog describing certain human social traits however the writer knows a specific person who reads the blog will secretly identify the blog is about them. The facts contained in the blog are perhaps well known about the other person and the writer makes attempts to challenge or help the person reading it. Meanwhile no one else has a clue to what is going on and the person reading has little or no way of responding directly.

Man is having trouble with power ratio in his relationship. The woman says “put $100, 000 on the table now, we can continue with the relationship”. Man says “if I do that today, I am sure you will come up with another problem that I need to fix”. Perhaps the woman will say that the man must lose the hair on his chest to continue the relationship? Man gets too cheeky with the woman’s Lilith and the downward spiralling of the relationship continues.

Here is Lilith in Video form. Germaine Greer has Lilith and Vesta in the 1st House

Black Moon Lilith has many ways of revealing ‘herself’ and perhaps the sexualized ones are more obvious. The sexual impulse by itself is an interesting parallel in that sexual feelings have a way of emerging all on their own and tend compel the person to act incongruously.

Passive Aggressive behaviours are also typical of Black Moon Lilith because there is a way to wreak a havoc towards another person while gaining a sense of power and control in the process. The aim of staying socially acceptable and maintaining the status quo while Lilith expresses herself is a difficult one. Lilith in personality begs to be understood however often she is shunned and consequently turns inwards. The person is left to mop up and in some cases feels angry with their actions because there is work to mend valuable relationships. These are the conundrums of trying to identify Lilith in personality.



12 Responses to “Conversations With Lilith”

  1. 1 roses October 7, 2008 at 08:54

    I remember standing near a bush one day watching these funny looking bugs secrete somekind of syrup out of the ends of their abdomens while a bunch of ants came up to them taking the syrup back to their nests. I was so intently watching them but my feet started hurting. It was then that i realised that i’d been consentrating on the ‘action’ for so very long – hours.

    It was so interesting. So is this post K. Thank you…

  2. 2 Shruti October 15, 2008 at 07:25

    this is really neat!


  3. 3 kingsley October 15, 2008 at 07:49

    Glad you liked the blog Shruti.


  4. 4 Funkspunky December 7, 2008 at 06:55

    keep up the great work old friend
    me found me some more

  5. 5 SteamyWeenie January 15, 2009 at 16:13

    and I have returned my dear Kingsley..

    I found a cool forum and i’ve been spending most of my time astrology chatting with all kinds of people. if you remember, I asked about Lilith before because she is so perfectly place at 12 degrees virgo (2 away from my sun n south node in Virgo; trines Taurus asc and neptune Cap)

    im easy going. im fun. lively. understanding… once I am denied something or even confronted in a non respectful manner, or even poked at in the middle of a horrible day, I am ready to completely attack somebody.

    I have an ease of word use and music/art definitely soothes me at times like this but I seriously need to figure out what lilith’s placement here means. I see the pattern of when I lash out when im not being treated faily… same crap. (i blame it on the south node) so I’ve been trying to take care of Lilith in any way possible giving her what she needs. its insane how I connect with anything Lilith related once I read it.

    I started a posting on that forum I mentioned just for Lilith.. almost like a shrine. I don’t think its doing the trick to get her comfortable.. on the cntrary I think it sparks her up within me…

    jeez….. my insides boil.

    im at the brink of destroying anything I get my hands on.. (im coming down from rage)

    im afraid that the older I get he worse it becomes. north node in pisces (opposed by Lilith) doesn’t make me feel comfortable (neither does the mars in 12th but that’s a diff story) Lilith…

    oh, Lilith…

    kingsley… advise!

  6. 6 kingsley January 15, 2009 at 17:35

    Good to see you back Steamy. Glad you found a forum that suits you. Hoping you are chatting and making friends their.

    If you want to send me your data there is an email address in the services page. I can remember your chart and our discussions about Lilith well.

    Lilith is a very interesting concept Weanie. One psychologist friend of mine who does understand Lilith has recently talked about Thanatos Versus Eros.

    Lets talk if you wish


  7. 7 Siri November 27, 2009 at 22:51

    My BML is in Libra/4th, conjunct Sun. I was VERY passive aggressive as a child, in my relationship with my parents. My early home environment was also very repressive about matters of sex. So, when I had something happen to me sexually as a child that I couldn’t really comprehend (via someone outside the family), I had nowhere to go with it. So I carried it with me silently, well into adulthood.

  8. 8 kingsley November 30, 2009 at 06:49

    Hi Siri, thanks for your comment and very good interpretation of your Lilith in the fourth house.


  9. 9 Silva May 17, 2011 at 05:06

    Dear All!
    I have no clue where to start from, all i can say almost everything mentioned describes me.Is there a way to get rid of Lilith? how long she stays in the chart?
    Thank you

  10. 10 kingsley May 17, 2011 at 09:44

    where is your Lilith and what aspects Silva? Everything in ones chart stays for a lifetime however there are ways to evolve, grow and develop with the things in ones personality that the chart may describe Silva. I have made goos use of my Lilith – Moon conjunction. k

  1. 1 Lilith Edits « Astrology by Kingsley Trackback on August 8, 2009 at 16:17
  2. 2 Black Moon Lilithium « Astrology by Kingsley Trackback on September 7, 2009 at 15:30

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