Mercury Reframing

Reframing is a wonderful tool in counselling that helps a client see a more positive spin on their seemingly negative decisions in life. In other words, the counsellor attempts to show the “good reasons” for making certain decisions in ones childhood even though those early decisions seem to plague the person in their adult life. The good counselling work may continue by openly discussing aspects of personality without the client shutting down and thinking poorly of self.

Reframing can also be a discounting tool for those wishing to “rip off” what others have said or written in order to redirect recognition to them rather than the original writer. Usually this happens in groups situations where the advantage is to get all the strokes or recognition by reframing what someone has just said.  

Reframing is also about a person who continually reframes their negative thoughts in a way they never have to deal with a problem in their life. Perhaps a wife might reframe her husbands infidelity as his need for sexual freedom rather than feel hurt and betrayed. The counsellor might ‘reframe’ this woman’s process by saying “I love the way you protect yourself from the pain”.

I have seen many clients experiencing great difficulty in coming to counselling or their attempts to disengage from counselling. The client tends to search for a reason or unconsciously attempts to set up a situation which gives them “good” reason to not go to counselling. One reason I heard last week involved a client using her adult children as an excuse not to attend counselling. She stated that she must consider them. The only day she could attend therapy was a Monday night which was the night she sometimes has dinner with them. She didn’t not want to feel guilty and cancelled her appointment. She did however say sorry to me in a way that sounded like she let me down.

Another client gave the reason that her young daughter was “a bit off” as the reason she wasn’t bringing her son to counselling one day. “If the son doesn’t get better then they can all continue their negative bahaviours and not deal with change.” It seems to me that the girl in this case is more important than the boy and the reframing “saves” the the mother from change.          

 

This weeks Mercury retrograde will be aspecting Chiron and North Node. I suspect that reframing and changing ones mind will be somewhat prolific. This year has seen other Mercury Chiron highlights such as the Eclipse earlier this year. We saw the new Australian Government saying sorry to the indigenous people and take a completely new mindset than all previous governments. One could say the Australian Government made a “re decision” on behalf of the nation. There was a great deal of healing in relation to the “Stolen Generation” abuse so many years ago.

Perhaps the Mercury station trine to Nodes/Chiron is also about a collective apology and re deciding upon some matter in life? The retrograde action of Mercury will represent the re framing of ones position in the “group”. The decision to either leave or come back depends which side of the “mind line” you find yourself. Mercury retrograde could see the same kind of example I have used above where the person finds a way to not to deal with their belief and thinking patterns. For some, feeling guilty is their life long job. It is therefore convenient for a person to find something to apologise for, “sorry sorry sorry” and continue negative beliefs about self. I guess if it helps them. Its a bit crappy in some way though. How can I help if the client doesn’t come in?

The counsellor in all of us this month, might require enlisting empathy by understanding that others may be struggling with difficult issues. Sometimes it seems helpful for a person to “not go there”, to ignore or reframe the problem. Perhaps the person is not ready to heal yet? 

How are you going to confront someone that you know in this position? Suggest they are very smart for protecting themselves? Be nurturing and say how you “hear the person having difficulty coming to the group?” What is the alternative?

Here is an interesting Video on Social interactions and Transactional Analysis.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bf8c1vMKiE      

   

Kingsley

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5 Responses to “Mercury Reframing”


  1. 1 kingsley May 28, 2008 at 11:04

    I am not sure whether its a Mercury retrograde thing, but it seems as though there are quite a few people searching for all things Pluto at the moment. I am getting quite a large number of people coming to this site by their search route for Pluto. I am wondering whether an automated web crawler is the cause ot perhaps there are just quite a few people searching for Pluto at the moment. It seems rather strange to me that the repeat visits are the sam people.

    Oh well, I could silently write more pluto articles just for the web crawlers and my stats will go up. Hopefully they are “real” readers in there and others just looking for pictures.

    kingsley

  2. 2 roses May 29, 2008 at 07:15

    Ohh I like Mr Trees. His youtubes are really good.

    roses

  3. 3 Lynn July 28, 2008 at 17:11

    I wonder if different styles of ‘reframing’ an issue depends on the person one is dealing with ? For example with someone who touches my heart I deal with on an emotional nuturing way contrasting with someone who piques my interest in an intellectual way. Interaction differs also if astrologically someone is knocking on one’s 3rd house compared to a drum roll on the 8th ; or a nebulous moon/neptune conjunction stacking up against mars/saturn (perhaps illustrating a child v parent transactional analysis situation?)

  4. 4 kingsley July 28, 2008 at 19:03

    That Moon/neptune keeps coming up Lynn. I do think there are different ways that reframing can relate to different interactions. I have seen how some clients reframe themselves right out of counselling. In that way there tends to be a different role model “object” that is, parent Ego State figure reframing going on.

    In that way the child can slip out and the adult might miss it all. The best reframing skills work with Parent child and adult. That is, there is something good about that for the child part and it actually makes very good sense and fits with practical values too.

    I guess what I have pointed out in the blog, is that there are some good and not so good aspects about reframing. It is useful some situation where one is biding their time about some issue or working with “acceptance”.

    kingsley

  5. 5 Lynn July 29, 2008 at 05:02

    It’s true – acceptance certainly comes at a price but the rewards are so much more valuable in the long run. Also, one persons acceptance is another man’s illusion I suppose. What appears to be acceptance on one level is denial further down the strata. Difference between water and earth, maybe 12th house and 2nd (depending on how many times one has already been round the wheel of life or just round and round with the same issue)?


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