It’s Not Over Until The………….

Grieving is a natural part of the cycles in life clearing away the bonds and attachments to that which we once held dear. It goes to say that the stronger the attachments are, the deeper grief seems to be. Who can say how long in time we must endure the grief in loss; Its not over until the…………. 


Celebrating loss is a well known remedy to the hurdles of pain which grief presents. 

 See more wonderful pictures celebrating the Heath Ledger passing.

The strength and need of our attachment to things and others in life is perhaps the measure of the grief process when experiencing loss. The following diagram courtesy of Tony White; (Psychologist) represents attachment during loss of loved ones.


The attachment to the other remains within our own sphere of thinking or feeling long after the “other” has gone. The healing process involves the pain of separating from our attachmnent.  The degree of pain might be described by our individual attachment styles. Those with more sensitive proctlivities or dependant styles of attachment may experience more pain during the grieving healing process.

So, how can we dilineate our potential attachment style in natal astrology? How can Astrology determine the type of grief and consequent transformation we might experience from healing our grief? Remembering that grief can also be described through the loss of a number of different life experiences; such as ones health, career, money or possessions, loss of hope and friendships. The loss of ones own somewhat embedded and negative coping styles through therapy, can also be loss. What ever the loss might be, we still feel an empty space within during the grieving process. You may have already guessed that Chiron’s involvement in the delineation of grief issues. Lets look at a current separation process involving pain, loss, the eclipse and Chiron. 

It would seem that Paul McCartney is currently going through some grief. The recent eclipse with Mercury and Chiron is opposing his natal Moon. McCartney’s problems with women in life are perhaps reflected by his own Moon Chiron square Venus. When Paul was fifteen years of age Chiron opposed his natal Chiron and his Mother passed away with breast cancer.  

Paul McCartney’s dysfunctional attachment style can be described by the aspect Moon Chiron square Venus. Venus represents nurturing, relationships and security in the astrology chart whereas Moon Chiron represents his early sense of abandonment with respects to his mother. The tension created with the square aspect defines his great need for attention and security. The aspect pattern is a sensitive point where pain and suffering can be triggered by other planets. 

Paul’s celebrated relationship with Linda McCartney ended sadly when she died of cancer many years ago. Transitting Chiron was square the Moon and opposite Venus in his chart at the time of Linda McCartney’s death.  It seems to have taken Sir Paul years of grieving only to be thrust into the spotlight with another separation or “wounding”. His relationship to Heather Mills has lately been a protracted legal battle where dirt is flying thick and fast.


Moon Venus Chiron Persists for Sir Paul

It seems that Sir Paul is more concerned with the publication of his personal affairs by Heather Mills. As rumours go, Paul is offering more millions in the separation process for Heather to keep quite about private and personal matters. I wonder what Paul fears more in the separation?  

Neptune on the ascendant suggests that Paul’s persona is glamorous and mysterious. He offers an image of himself that seems perfect to Heather and indeed to the world. The loss of face and persona would seem quite important at the moment as would the loss of millions of pounds in personal wealth (Venus rules the 2nd House).

The current Chiron opposition has indeed triggered another hurtful separation process in Paul’s life. There are other natal chart points that emphasize Paul’s attachment style; including Mars and Pluto, planets above the horizon and natal Sun at the highest point in the chart. His ‘attachment’ to his sense of dignity, identity and popularity can be seen by the strong angular placements. The more pressure Paul applies to maintaining certain attachments in his life the harder the loss (Moon Chiron) will be experienced. Perhaps the lesson from his current separation lays in his willingness to let go of what is truly important to him. That may not be Heather Mills nor the money involved, however perhaps his adherence to long standing coping methods; or controlling devices designed to eliminate pain from his life experiences.

No doubt that his Mother experienced feelings of scare and pain in both her relationships and with regard to financial security according to the Moon-Chiron-Venus pattern. Paul McCartney seems to have embodied loss and grief of the Moon Chiron symbology as his script in life. That is the way it works for him.  


When there are feelings of grief through separation from loved ones the symbology of Chiron is not far away. Are the coping mechanisms of control worth defending with millions of dollars? Perhaps enduring a life of protracted grief, psychologically is worth it? Sometimes survival is the main motivation during the crises times, the healing hopefully comes later. Perhaps there is a time in life to let the experience of grief and separation wash over us? To find another way; like the beach mourners celebrating Heath Ledger’s death at Cottesloe Beach last Saturday. In my mind, the “circle” of experiencing loss in life is a cycle involving the willingness to endure painful feelings and then celebrating that loss; and its not over until the circle is complete.





24 Responses to “It’s Not Over Until The………….”

  1. 1 Elsa February 11, 2008 at 12:18

    Your writing is beautiful and instructive. Quite a trick! 🙂

  2. 2 kingsley February 11, 2008 at 12:56

    Thanks Elsa, you have your own ‘tricks’ I see, and the same compliment from you also applies to you.


  3. 3 cancer sun February 15, 2008 at 18:24

    Wow what a beautiful article. I am going through a little grief right now (a break up) and what you say enobles the process (is that a word)… not sure how to put it, but reminded me of the depth, dignity, and purpose of it(the grief). Took me out of the pain and into my mind a bit. Which was helpful.

    My chiron is in Aries in the 8th house… square my sun. It sextiles my Uranus in the 2nd. Sometimes I feel such an attatchment to my wounds, it is hard to move forward. Does chiron denote a kind of masochism? The wounded healer cannot heal himself but gains fulfillment or purpose from serving others with his wounds? What do you think?

  4. 4 kingsley February 15, 2008 at 21:11

    Sorry to hear that you are going through separation at the moment Cancer Sun. Thats an interesting point about masochism. The wounded healer archetype, the Centaur, in my mind was not born that way however incurred his injury. In the course of that injury the Centaurs life changed. Part of the process of accepting life changing illness, disability or even grief involves an element of sacrfice. Things are just not the same any more.

    I agree with you Cancer Sun, that there can be an over-identification or attachment to “wounded” archetype, perhaps a more neurotic involvement or darker side of the Chiron symbology. For instance Munchenhausen syndrome, or an ego involvement in helping others. Sounds more like Neptune to me where Chiron is more about a constant process of experiencing pain and then acceptance, from which empathy and wisdom emerges. If a person can teach or become a healer (on whatever level) to others from that process, they would be identifying with the positive symbology of Chiron. I don’t think anyone wishes to be in pain and it would seem that the Masochist may not be gaining chirons wisdom but identifying with a neurotic sacrifice/ego and self harming process.


  5. 5 cancer sun February 15, 2008 at 23:38

    Interesting, what you say about Neptune vs. Chiron… self-sacrifice vs. wisdom emerging from the experience…

    I have both. It is hard to separate them from each other. Kind of like sisters. Sister-wounds.

    And sometimes, things change, things are not the same anymore, but one keeps repeating the same wound (or wounding). That seems darkly Chironic to me! Keeps opening it up until….. some change in thinking/behavior is powerful enough to change the pattern….

  6. 6 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 07:43

    I like the way you understand the astrology of you Cancer Sun. That sort of knowing puts you out in front.



  7. 7 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 11:05

    Yes, I have a Cancer stellium (not just my Sun). I understand my own energy well but for some reason can rarely spot other Cancerians (I am starting to do astrology and tarot “professionally” and have a good intution for people’s energy but the Cancerians hide well.)

    Kingsley: is your chart on your blog for your readers’ perusal? If not, care to share? It’s always fun to astrologize the astrologer 🙂

  8. 8 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 11:52

    I can never guess sun signs of people CS.

    Perhaps I will put my chart up so I can get astrologized Cancer Sun.
    What I would like to do is utilize my confidential space so that one or two, even more might openly discuss theirs or others charts in a safe and private space.


  9. 9 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 11:58

    That is a great idea for the confidential space… I hope you do it!

    It is probably easier to guess the Ascendent or the dominant element in a chart… Water people seem so obviously watery for example…

  10. 10 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:06

    Its all set up CS, just need a few people

    I don’t know about predominent signs. A person migh have moon or Neptune on ascendant and no water, sometimes I guess the persons moon sign or ascendant rather than sun sign and then if there is Mars in 1st etc, you can see the problem with guessing. I am Taurus asc, Aqu Moon, Aries Sun; CS.


  11. 11 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:10

    Well, let me know if I can be one of the “few people” invited to visit someone’s chart. I am assuming you have my email address there since the form makes me fill it out.

    I agree with you about guessing… a person may have no water but a packed fourth house, etc.

    Btw, your aquarian moon make sense! Even from the distance, your writing shows you have some air… there!

  12. 12 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:28

    I am still trying to work out how to keep comments off the main page CS. Can you click on the comments to Confidential page and see if you can access the comment without a password? Cheers

  13. 13 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:30

    Not sure I know what you mean but if I go to that confidential space page it does ask for a password. Didn’t try it without a password.. but I will now. (although that… may not have been what you meant)….

    And then go to bed. It’s late here! Goodnight Sir Kingsley!

  14. 14 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:32

    click on in the comments on front page where it says “Confidential protected” by kingsley

  15. 15 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:35

    I click on “confidential space” at the top
    and then my only option is to click on “submit” (after inserting a password)

    does it make a difference that i’m on an old mac? using probably an old version of safari? might there be other clicking options on a different machine?

    or am i still misunderstanding?

  16. 16 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:36

    ok, will give it another go later, I left a comment in there and just wondered by clicking the link in “recent Comments” also requires password to see comment. I think its about 4 comments down the list now.

    catch you later


  17. 17 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:37

    it does want a password as well (clicking in the comments section)

    now i think i understand what you meant

  18. 18 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:40

    cool, thanks. It can work then, for those with password that is. will send you the password for when you wake up tomorrow


  19. 19 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:41

    ah okay

    but whose chart is there to discuss? do you need a test case ? 🙂

  20. 20 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:42

    yes, i’m still awake. astro-compulsive!

  21. 21 kingsley February 16, 2008 at 12:44

    No chart in there at moment, maybe I will find one, unless you wish to write your details up in there and I will post that?


  22. 22 cancer sun February 16, 2008 at 12:47

    I will put my details up in there. Post if you like 🙂

  23. 23 Graffiti February 18, 2008 at 14:52

    Hi Kingsley,

    Just saw the diagram. Made me feel chuffed that you used it.

    All the best


  24. 24 kingsley February 18, 2008 at 15:56

    Thanks for dropping by Graffiti, Took me a while to find your diagram but it was worth it. Thanks for being ok with sharing it on the internet too.



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